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# Invitation to a 1893 betrothal ball and the betrothal rite in nineteenth-century Russia
- URL: https://theparnassian.com/en/priglashenie-na-bal-i-vechernii-stol-po-sluchaiu-svadebnogo-sgovora-10-ianvaria-1893-goda/
- Published: 2026-10-02T13:21:20.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-04T11:56:42.000Z
- Author: Alexandr Radayev
- Tags: The Golden Age, NB!, Archive, Books, Mores, Ethnography

An invitation to a ball and evening supper on the occasion of a betrothal, 10 January 1893.

In nineteenth-century Russia the *sgovor*, or betrothal, was the rite at which the parents of the bride and groom finally agreed upon the marriage of their children. It followed the matchmaking, that is, the first proposal which the matchmakers made on the groom's behalf, and preceded the wedding in church.

Vladimir Dahl, in his "Explanatory Dictionary of the Living Great Russian Language", defined the *sgovor* as "a wedding rite, a striking of hands, the parents' agreement to the marriage of their children, and the word that settles the matter". The "striking of hands" (*rukobitye*) was the custom whereby fathers or matchmakers slapped each other's hands in token of a concluded bargain. Among the common people the rite was also called *propoy* or *zapoy*, because the agreement was sealed with a shared feast and wine.

At the betrothal the parties settled the chief practical questions. They agreed upon the dowry, that is, the property and money which the bride brought into her husband's family, and upon the costs of the wedding. If the parties failed to agree on terms, the wedding might fall through.

The ethnographer Alexander Tereshchenko, in his book "The Life of the Russian People", described the betrothal feast thus:

> "The bridegroom and bride sit side by side. The loving-cup goes round, courting the guests, while the young pair glance at one another".

Tereshchenko stresses the significance of the rite with the words "Every betrothal is the beginning of a wedding". After the betrothal the bridegroom and bride gained the right to see one another more often.

In well-to-do urban families the betrothal turned into a grand reception. Alexander Ostrovsky, in his comedy about the merchant Bolshov, which he completed in 1849, put the dream of such a reception into the mouth of the merchant's daughter Lipochka, who longed to marry a gentleman:

> "I imagine it to myself: suddenly an officer proposes for me, suddenly we have a grand betrothal, candles burning everywhere, waiters in white gloves going about..."